Southern Kansan?

I knew when I restarted my site a year ago something I wanted to do was to make my site more personal. Not because I think anyone really wants to know anything about me but because as I grew older I learned to respect and cherish my family heritage. It was something my grandmother tried very hard to instill in me as a child but it wasn't until I lost her that I really began to understand what she'd been trying to do and to begin to see what I'd lost by not listening closer to her all those years she tried so hard to get my interest in where my family came from. I lost her 10 years ago this Christmas (2004) and I miss her everyday of my life. I wish she'd lived to see so much that's happened but especially the change in me. I wish I'd taken the time to listen closer to the stories she told because now they're lost. I've recently started a genealogy tree which is going to be very hard to complete without her but in a way I feel I owe it to her to gather some of that lost information so her history will live on.

You're probably wondering what this has to do with the "South" right? And what could a girl born and raised in Kansas possibly know about the South? Surprisingly more than you think. I guess I ought to explain that a little eh?

My grandmother was born and raised in Alabama and the South wasn't a place to her so much as a way of life and a code she lived by. My father was born in Alabama as well and was raised by that code of living. I was born in Kansas but spent much of my formative years living with and learning from my grandmother. I was named after her and she thought that meant I "belonged" to her and she took a very active part in raising me. I spent summer time traveling the South with her and on holidays we displayed the Confederate flag right along side of the American flag. It wasn't something I thought about, to me it was natural.

I think the first time I realized there was something different about our family was when I was about 10 and there was a story on the news about someone being killed for displaying a Confederate flag and I couldn't understand why. The article was all about race and hatred, I just didn't understand it at all. I came to understand then that a lot of people had some serious delusions about the South and it's history. Being Southern doesn't mean you're a "redneck", "hick", or racist.



That flag doesn't have anything to do with racism or hate. It's a symbol of the South, it's past, it's heritage and yes, it flew in the South during the Civil War and was carried into battle but that doesn't change it's meaning. The Civil War wasn't about started over issues of slavery, the South seceded from the Union because they felt their plantations and other businesses were being unfairly taxed. Much like the American Revolution where America wanted to be free of England and it's taxes and rule. Slavery later became an issue when Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 in hopes that freed "slaves" would boost the Union army. In truth many freed "slaves" fought to defend the South and their homes. The Civil War was nearly three years old when it turned from a War to preserve the Union into a fight to abolish slavery. Over the years that's been forgotten I think and the Civil War has been twisted into a War of hatred and racism, and in some people's minds the Confederate Flag now represents those things. The Confederate flag no more represents hate or racism than this one does.



So what's the South really about?

Family, friends, a simpler, more honest life. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there I guess and simply travelling through doesn't count either. I would say the first rule of the South is family comes first. Something my grandmother fully believed in and tried so hard to teach us all. Above all else your family is always your family, blood is thicker than water. Friends aren't just people you say hello to now and then, they're part of your family and they'll give you the shirt off their back if you need it because they know you'd do the same. It's a friendlier place, I truly believe that. I know times have changed since I spent a lot of time there and there's more violence everywhere but you never had to worry about saying hello to someone you met on the street and if you broke down someone always stopped to help. I know many people picture the South as a big trailer park, yards of cars on blocks, "good old boys" sitting on the porch drinking, women who are barefoot and pregnant, everyone is a high school drop out, and old beat up pick up trucks. That however is a stereotype and a sad one because it puts everyone who is southern down.

My memories of the south may be skewed because I want to remember those times with my grandmother in the best light but even as a kid I could "feel" the difference in the people in the south. I remember the warm and humid evenings listening to the locust in the trees. The trees... those great big old ancient trees, that's something I remember best about the South. It made me feel very small and just in awe of how old they were and strong. The old houses too, you can just feel the history when you're in them. I wished the walls could talk and imagined the stories they could tell.



Maybe my memories and view of the south is a little idealistic and corny but it's a very important part of my heritage that I hope to learn even more about it as I research my family history and heritage!!

I hope you've enjoyed this page and maybe if you're not Southern you've gained a little insight into what the South is really about.